What I’d rather post: a list of things I hate, with good reasoning.
Why not you ask? Because that would essentially be a list of every argument I’ve ever been in and why I was right. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I know that I should not share such a list with the internet – regardless of how badly I may want to. In other words: yes, I know I am not always right, and sometimes it’s just harder to see another person’s perspective because you’re just infinitely more intelligent than them. Kidding, again. What I am trying to say is, if I spent longer than 10 minutes on justified reasons to hate things, I’d probably end up ranting about my middle-school best friend who unfriended me in HS because I was more enthusiastic about boys #truestory #brattygirlsclub #stillsalty #whodoesthat
What I am posting: a list of things I hate, with no reasoning.
While I like to think that I externally project an “air of confidence” that screams something like, “LOVE TRUMPS HATE, ADOPT ALL ANIMALS, AND NEVER GIVE UP;” internally it sounds a lot more like, “you’ve got to be kidding me… I literally hate everything.”
But, that’s just the drama-queen that resides in EVERY. SINGLE. millennial. body.
Moving on to the list, because half-assed self-deprecation is fun.
- Cardboard tampons: because why the fuck would ANYONE do that to themselves? (side note: I’ve never tried to use one but that’s bc cardboard doesn’t belong in the vajay)
- The Harry Potter Books: because I never got into them and I’m hella salty about it
- When people try to walk across the street when I am turning at a light: because I don’t care that you have a walk sign, I WANT TO DRIVE DAMMIT
- When people try to RUN ME THE FUCK OVER WHEN I HAVE A WALK SIGN: because I have a walk sign and you’re nice and toasty in the car so hold your damn horses
- Tomatoes in their natural form: because hard on the outside and soft-smooshy-gooshy on the inside only works for food items that naturally taste good
- Spelling words like: restaurant, conscience, rhythm, maintenance, etc.
- Texting conversations: because if you want to talk, call me
- Calling conversations: because if you need me, just text me
- Jello: because that shit is unnatural as fuck
- When children in public places aren’t being supervised by their parents: because taking your child to the pool/mall/resaurauanant doesn’t mean you have a babysitter
- When people walk slowly: because this isn’t a Sunday stroll, betch, go find a park
- Not understanding internet jargon: because I’m tech-savvy as fuck and if you’re using terms I don’t understand than we can’t be friends
- The self-service checkout: because it’s so convenient until it’s not
- “THOSE” people on Facebook who have pictures of inanimate objects/babies/etc. as their profile: because unless you’re a senior citizen, it’s just not okay
- When automated machines tell me “listen carefully as our menu items have changed”: because someone out there has memorized your automated caller menu smh
- Pre-made chocolate milk: because it’s MY decision how chocolate-y my milk gets
- Printers: because I’ve never had a good relationship with one
- Ice cube trays: because it’s 2017 and no one should have to worry about their asshole roommates not filling them up
- The Cloud: because I’ve taken a class on it and still don’t understand
- Pennies: because they cost more to make than they are worth and they take up so much room being useless
- Spatial recognition/depth perception: because I have a hard time believing I would hit my head on a desk on purpose
So that’s it folks. Relatable or not, those are some of the things that drive me absolutely berserk. Whether on a day-to-day basis or once in a blue moon, those are the things that make me want to pop my damn top.
But, I’m not one to pop-my-top, so most of the time I just make a really obnoxious and visible frown and move on.
DISCLAIMER: my list of things I love would take an eternity to write. I am so grateful and appreciative of everything my family, friends, and peers have done for both me and the world. Do not think it goes unnoticed! There is much more to love in this world than there is to hate.
It’s just fun being dramatic.