I’ve been having WEIRD dreams lately

It has been twenty-one days since I wrote on my blog. I wont lie, the growing days between the two made it increasingly harder to get back into the rhythm. But, here I am. Like the boomerang I am.

Bouncing back, bitches.

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Confessional: I’ve stopped reading books like the asshole I am – for no reason other than pure laziness. It also has to do with the fact that the Martin Luther King Jr. Library has started the process of renovating and therefore is closing permanently.* And my dog, Remy, has a nasty habit of eating books while we are at work – so I talk myself down every time I start walking into a Barnes and Noble. Netflix and Hulu are my new book club. Hate me cuz you aint me but I really have nothing else to say because who am I letting down… myself? Nope, I’m pretty okay with it.

*Permanently is an exaggeration but I say it because I probably wont be working at C&B when it re-opens.

So now – what’s up? Well my lower back woke up on Sunday and decided that it was its 90th birthday. I couldn’t bend down or breathe without feeling like I was forcefully being stretched 9 feet long. Sunday was also the day that Ryan and I decided to take our relationship to the next level by investing in a Costco membership (the EXECUTIVE, nonetheless). We wanted to spend hours enjoying the classy lifestyle of buying bulk and finding free samples, but due to the fact that I couldn’t reach down and breathing started to hurt – we left. I couldn’t go to work yesterday and ended up going to the doctor. The doctor did minimal investigating into the issue and declared the diagnosis a “pulled muscle/spinal sprain” and sent me on my way….. NOT without saying, I quote:

If I’m right the pain you’re feeling is just a spinal sprain and you’ll do best on high-strength ibuprofen and consistent muscle relaxers. Make sure you push yourself while stretching and make yourself a little uncomfortable, the meds will help with that. If I’m wrong, it’s a slipped disc and you’re best on the couch for the next week (at least).

AKA: IF I’M RIGHT THEN THIS WILL HELP YOU BUT IF I’M WRONG IT WILL GET WORSE, now get on your way, PEASANT.

So here I am, your average hypochondriac, freaking out because my doctor has no fucking clue what she is doing AND has an awful pixy haircut that makes me not trust her judgment. Add the fact I had to use PTO for a worthless doc visit and you can only imagine the mood I was in yesterday. I took double the muscle relaxers and passed the fuck out until Ryan got home.source

As many of you know, I work in a boring office where I sit down all day and ignore the fact my desk can rise to a standing position. I spend my time looking for animals to adopt (s/o to you PetFinder), looking for houses to move into, and binge-watching TV shows (while avoiding eye contact with passerbys). Therefore, coming to work can be boring but for the most part I enjoy it thoroughly because I do almost exactly what I do at home (except sans pants). So today, because of my back pain and incredibly uncomfortable chair, I am using the standing feature at my desk and crying the whole time because it’s not actually that much more comfortable than sitting down. Also, I stood for exactly 2 minutes before sitting down was the move. Call it laziness but today – it’s back pain.

Life event update: I’ve joined the rest of the world in their obsession with The Bachelor and now I’m devastated that Corinne was sent home last night. Like seriously, Nick, what were you thinking?

Well, that’s pretty much it from me. I want a fucking nanny to make me cheesy-pasta, I want to drink for 6 weeks straight while traveling the world and pretending I care about some random dude. Maybe I didn’t write because these past 21 days have been utterly uneventful. #LivinTheLife

xoxo,

b

 

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