How To Murder Your Life

A Memoir by Cat Marnell

First and foremost, let me preface this post with a *this is definitely not a young adult book* because if it was, those children would finish the book and immediately start doctor shopping and doing mad drugs.

With that being said, let me also show you what Cat Marnell looks like, because boy would I have loved to look that up when I first started reading.


I’m not sure what I thought she looked like but a literal blueberry was NOT on that list. So this girl, Cat, is actually a pretty fabulous writer – when she isn’t clearly sleep deprived and a whole bottle of Xanax and Adderal under (example). I mean seriously, come on now… how many times did she type the word vanilla for that article? Was it because she couldn’t meet the word minimum? I just don’t understand. So many questions. Vanilla must smell 20xs better when you’re juiced up (or “rolling” or whatever it’s called).

“Vanilla: it’s my favorite way to smell and so it would be so much easier if it was my favorite way to be.”

Ugh same, Cat, same.

Cat Marnell is like actually notorious, but for all the wrong reasons, and somehow she loves it. She, unlike any normal person, loved the bad attention surrounding her drug use… she took it on as if her audience loved her shortcomings – so much so she wrote a book about it. She is based in New York City and surprisingly enough, travels far and wide for things like her career as a beauty editor or for rehab. Her career starts at Lucky, but in a total of 10-12 years she goes from NYLON to Teen Vogue, Glamour to Vice, and finally ending at her dream job: xoJane. Spoiler alert: she still isn’t clean so this doesn’t end on a #bornagain note.

This book is a memoir, told by Cat Marnell – although the whole time I was absolutely BAFFLED at her memory – this girl has a brain like an elephant! I barely remember college (which was less than a year ago) and I wasn’t knee deep in amphetamines, but to each their own. The book starts off at a boarding school, which gives Cat the perfect independence to become dependent on drugs – UPS’d from Mom and Dad – which she made sound wonderfully fun. I finished the book and wanted to move my ass to NYC and take a lot of drugs I didn’t even know existed prior to reading!! BUT, dear friends, this book gave me enough of a thrill just reading it – and her honesty in relation to never resolving her drug problem – made me feel very happy knowing I’ve never done any hard drugs.

I wish I could write a long post about the deeper meaning entangled throughout her prose but there was absolutely nothing there. It was a great read, and I barely put it down – but as far as substantial meaning – there was nothing there. If like me, you’re interested in reading her articles, I’ve attached quite a few below and if you click here than you can see ALL Cat’s posts.

In the end though, I did get something wonderful out of reading the book. Her and I really connect on the religious level – so her explanation regarding her faith had me highlighting and re-reading more than I would like to admit!

Bella: get the quote from your Kindle.




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